Nine years of RAGE unleashed upon a cabinet.

I don't know if it's fate, karma, or the fact that I am lowest on the totem pole at work, but I seem to consistently acquire the strange students. I mean this in the most affectionate spirit-- weird is fine with me.
I've had students in the past who have made me laugh harder than any stand-up comedian I've paid to see. (One in particular whom I would honestly adopt TODAY-- he is the son I forgot to have nine years ago.) But this year, I have a student with pure raw emotion and it's hysterical. Let's call him Fabio. (I don't know.)
Fabio jumps up and down and giggles and screams, "I AM SO HAPPY! YIPPPEEEEE!" when he kicks during kickball. He does all this before he runs to first base. So, of course, the rest of the students yell, "What is the MATTER with you!? Run!" So...Fabio then drops down to the fetal position and kicks and pounds with his little fists and sobs and screams "I AM SO MAD! EVERYONE THINKS I'M A GOOF-HEAD!!!!" And this continues all day long.
Wednesday of last week is one that I will never forget. Fabio was frustrated during an assignment, so immediately everyone in the room was aware. I am a very patient person, so usually I just give him a minute and pretend that he's not hopping or rocking or yelling. Wednesday, however, Fabio got up, closed his eyes, (although somehow tears were still flying out,) and started to sprint around the room yelling "AHH!!!! I HATE THIS WORK!!!" And before I could get to him, as if in slow motion, Fabio, with his eyes shut tight, runs full speed ahead directly into my metal cabinet and bounces off like a cartoon. When I reached him, he was on his back and stunned.
Go outside and get it all out, I advise.
So that little stress-ball trudges out the classroom door, clenches his fists, throws his head back and belts out a scream of rage. And again. And again.
I poke my head out the door. "Feel better?" "Yep." "Ready to come in?" "Nope."

Although he is the root of many premature gray hairs, Fabio is shaping up to go down in the memorable student hall of fame. I think I'm a little jealous of him.... one of these days I might just clench my fists and throw my head back and in pure Garden-State style, get the rage out.....(When I'm a little higher on the totem pole.)